It's amazing what a good nights sleep can do

Yes - he is cute and yes he is mine

________________

Our unusually long commercial break was

sponsored by the following.......

Lam.ictal - the mood-stabilizer that's not only

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Insomnia - Just when you thought it was

safe to slip under the covers for a few zzzzz's

Insomnia, your all night buddy shows up to party.

Aunt Flo - Helping the depressed chocolate and

carbohydrate industries get back on their feet as well

as ensuring every husband knows the right answer to

the monthly question...."Honey, do you think I am getting fat?"

______

It's been quite the week and it's only last night

that I was finally able to get a solid nights sleep.

Thank you sleepytime Gods.

I have been attempting to work my way through 

a boat load of crap lately.

I felt like paddling as fast I could but going no where fast

.

That's when I stopped to look - look at this body of mine

It became quite clear once I chose to look.

My shame-lined, low self-worth grimy,

near empty fuel tank.wasn't getting me very far.

 Not to mention that my warning lights 

signaling significant loss of emotional balance were 

rapidly blinking bright red.

...ummmm DUH!

Why is it that a part of me still feels as if my

"mental health" is secondary to my "physical health"?

Why, after all this time, education, and 

advocacy do I still feel surprised  and ashamed to admit that I 

had a depressive relapse? 

Yep....that's right....a depressive relapse.

See...there ...I said it!

The neurotransmitters in"this old brain" decided

to take a vacation without telling me or their best

buddies - the anti-depressant posse.

This episode, relapse or whatever

the heck it is, just happened to coincide with a 

number of really shitty life events.

*See previous posts for the insanity*

So basically, life in Boo land got really

hairy there for awhile.

I guess that's just the way it is sometimes.

You don't get to pick and choose the timing.

Life just happens.

So I have a little bit of my footing

back due to some much needed med changes, 

a lot of therapy and most importantly, 

an incredible support system. 

(you know who you are - THANK YOU)

Still have a tremendous amount of work to do

but trying to refuel a bit before I go there.

I know that I am a bit wobbly and fragile at the moment.

I also know that time has shown me that with the right tools, 

help and positive fuel,  I will be okay

I hope for that - I really do.

Will keep you posted 

Thanks to everyone for the kind words and support.

MY CRAYON COLOR:

RAW SIENNA