I hate vacation pics: A.K.A - My brain has been a bad hostess lately....

This pic would be so scary if you were actually able to see 

everything that was going on in my brain

No ....really....it would be something to behold.

 I don't think even I would want to look inside to be honest.

Wait a minute...I couldn't do that anyway....that's just silly......

well maybe I could..... If I carefully detached my head......nahhh......

that would just not be practical...I'd probably 

lose it, break it or forget how to put it back on..........

________

So here is the lo-down

The VACATION:

What to say - what to say...Let's sum it up.

The good, the bad and the ugly

GOOD:

It was incredible to be away from the 

piss-poor sub-zero weather of NE Ohio

Thank you Florida Keys for the beautiful sunsets

I got to spend some quality time with

the parents and my Bear

They is ...."Good Peoples"!!!

I was able to do some great fishing and 

was even able to catch "that one frickin' shark" 

(the one that got away our first trip out)

Bear picked out & bought me a KICK-ASS

designer brand name purse for my birthday gift.

(rhymes with MOACH - boo-yah!!!)

as well as one totally cool flying monkey

that was demonstrated in-store.

NICE!!!

BAD

Crappy timing in several ways:

Mother nature arrived with what looked like a moving truck

Left work short-handed at a really really bad time

Shrinky Dink meds still in change up mode and overall

mood/anxiety on the rise.

UGLY

Upon said arrival at vacation spot -

Hit with massive wave of intense mixed emotions-

grief, sadness, and frustration over:.........

our childlessness, the friend who lost her pregnancy, 

turning 40 and consequent life review, the 

"unsure" shrinky dink diagnosis yet again, the new med combo &

titration that sucks lemons,  and oh yeah, did I happen to mention the 

hormones from hell?

 

This is all while trying avidly to get family, friends, and

loved ones to understand something new about the

person they see in front of them

this wife, daughter, sister, niece, friend, etc -

the one that they don't recognize because of all the emotions

It's not JUST the med change

It's not JUST the childlessness,

It's not JUST the friend's loss

It's not JUST the frickin' situational crap

It's not JUST the mid-life crisis bull-shit

It's not JUST the A.D.D. or this years shrinky dink's diagnosis

Though you may think it is, 

It's not JUST one thing - it's not JUST all the things

Here's the catch.....You won't know what IT is until:

 you do the brave thing, the uncomfortable thing, that thing you don't want to do.

Talk to me - ask me - tell me you don't know what to say

I've already heard all the stupid comments - trust me on that

It won't make it worse - It's already pretty shitty

I won't shatter into pieces - I'm pretty cracked already

.

Then I will know you are there....and that you do care.

MOOD REPORT: